You probably already know that sex feels great! Sex is exciting, fun and a terrific stress reliever.
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But do you know why sex feels so good? There are actually scientific reasons as well as emotional ones to explain why sex feels good. If you’ve ever wondered why we are so lucky to have something that feels as good as sex does readily available to us, read on.
Here are 10 reasons why sex feels so good:
1. We’re Naturally Programmed to Seek Sex Out
Why does sex feel so good? From a reproductive perspective, it makes perfect sense for sex to feel good. Sex feeling good ensures the survival of the species. But that isn’t the only reason sex feels good. Otherwise, we wouldn’t want to have sex even when we aren’t trying to get pregnant. And we do! Sex is also useful as a bonding tool, to relieve stress, as a way to express ourselves and just as a way to have fun.
When people aren’t having sex, they’re often thinking about having sex. Having sex is as natural to our survival as eating is. The part of the brain called the amygdala—part of the limbic system that controls basic drives, such as sex and hunger—activates, causing us to want sex. When we do have sex, the amygdala becomes less active until it’s time for us to have sex again.
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2. Sex Produces Dopamine
Dopamine is the reward hormone. It is also responsible for feelings of love and lust. More here. When you first fall in love, dopamine levels are through the roof. You feel exhilaration and your heart pounds. Dopamine loves newness, and having sex with your new love makes your feel great. Dopamine is an answer to why sex feels so good. You can also keep dopamine levels up by trying new things.
3. Sex Produces Oxytocin
Oxytocin is the hug hormone, the cuddle chemical. It makes you feel close with your man and want to bond with him. And it makes your man want to stay with you. Having sex stimulates its release, and oxytocin plays a role in erections and orgasms.
4. Sex Produces Prolactin
Prolactin is the satiation hormone. Prolactin surges immediately after orgasm and gives people that let’s-smoke-a-cigarette feeling of satisfaction. It may also be associated with breast size.
5. Sex Produces Serotonin
Serotonin, a neurotransmitter that appears during sexual arousal, makes you feel happy. Because of this, antidepressants that contain serotonin (SSRIs) are often prescribed for depression and getting over heartbreak. But the irony is that SSRIs can lead to sexual problems, such as vaginal dryness, low sex drive and erectile dysfunction.
6. Sex Produces Norepinephrine
Norepinephrine is also a neurotransmitter. It’s responsible for dilating blood vessels in the genitals. This results in making the genitals more sensitive when touched, which is another answer to the question of why does sex feel so good.
7. Arousal Gives Us Higher Pain Thresholds
When women are sexually aroused, they have a higher pain threshold. Just by stimulating the vagina, women can tolerate 40 percent more pain. During an orgasm, women can tolerate 100 percent more pain. You’ll still feel the pain during sex, but you won’t experience the feeling as pain. The pain won’t feel unpleasant. This is why why sex can hurt without enough foreplay and arousal!
Note that facial expressions are often similar during orgasm and during pain.
8. Sex Brings Stress Relief
Why does sex feel good? One answer is that it relieves stress. We all know by now that too much stress isn’t good for us. When we are under constant stress with no relief, we are said to be in distress. Being in distress can lead to headaches, anxiety, skin conditions, high blood pressure, upset stomach, problems sleeping and chest pain. Too much stress can also make you more susceptible to disease.
Some people, in an attempt to alleviate stress, will overeat, smoke, drink or use drugs. None of those methods will get rid of stress from the body. But there is a way to relieve stress: have sex. The problem is that when you get too stressed, you typically don’t want to have sex. And not having sex for long periods leads to more stress. It’s a vicious cycle.
But if you can break the cycle and start having regular sex again, you should start feeling better physically. You’ll get sick less often, sleep better, be less anxious and lower your blood pressure.
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So try this the next time you’re feeling stressed: have sex, no matter how much you might not want to. Start by cuddling and touching more, even holding hands. That can lead to kissing. And that can lead to sex. The more sex you have, the less stressed you should feel, which should make you want … you guessed it … more sex.
9. Sex Lets You Share a Deeply Intimate Moment with Your Man
To have a strong relationship, you need to have intimacy, and sex lets you be intimate with your man. Intimacy is usually reserved for just one person and is what bonds you and your man. Sex, when you’re in a committed relationship, is how people show intimacy.
Even if you’re having a one-night stand – more in this post – you can be intimate with your partner. The difference is that this sort of relationship might not last, even though you opened up and felt vulnerable. If you don’t think you can handle being intimate and having it be only for one night, having casual sex might not be for you.
10. Making Your Partner Feel Good Can Make You Feel Good
Sometimes sex makes you feel good because you are making someone you love feel good. If you want to really make your man feel good in bed, here are some ways:
- Concentrate on the small curve between his lower lip and his chin. Do this by sucking his lower lip into your mouth during a kiss. Use the tip of your tongue to lick that area.
- Lick his neck, but not under his ear as you probably do—lick him using circular motions just under his Adam’s apple. This is a sensitive spot, according to ancient Chinese medicine.
- Lick his nipples. Guys are sensitive there, too. Circle the outside of his nipple with your tongue, getting closer and closer to the nipple. Then flick his nipple with your tongue and gently bite it. More tips for nipple stimulation in this article.
- Focus on the tip of his penis during oral sex. One way is to hold the base with your fingers and then rub the head of his penis over your wet lips, almost like you’re putting on lipstick. Put the whole head in your mouth, and go back to the lipstick move. Don’t forget the area where the tip connects to the shaft. There are a lot of nerves there. Use the tip of your tongue to give this area some fast flicks, and then go back to licking.
If Sex Doesn’t Feel Good
Sex doesn’t always feel good. It can sometimes hurt. Once you understand the reason sex hurts, you can usually correct the problem and enjoy sex. Here are four reasons sex could feel bad:
1. Not Enough Lubrication
Sometimes you might not produce enough lubrication. If that happens, you can experience a burning or chafing sensation. Not fun. A number of things could cause this, such as certain birth control pills, using a tampon or just during certain times of the month. Some women just aren’t as wet as others.
If you find that you aren’t getting lubricated enough, you can solve the problem by using an artificial lubricant. You have a choice of a whole host of silicone- and water-based lubes. More on lube here.
2. A Bad Past Experience
Post-traumatic stress disorder is not reserved only for war veterans, although PTSD is certainly common for anyone who went to war. Anyone in a traumatic situation can experience it, including people who were sexually abused. People can even experience PTSD when they thought they were going to marry or be together forever and the relationship suddenly ends for any number of reasons, including an affair. Until people suffering get help, they usually find it difficult to be in a successful loving relationship, and this typically affects their sex life as well.
3. Having a Condition, Such as Vaginismus
If sex hurts and using lubrication doesn’t help, you might have vaginismus, a condition where your vaginal muscles tense up before anything enters it, such as a penis or even a finger or a tampon. With vaginismus, penetration is painful. Vaginismus is often due to fear and anxiety over sex, but it could be caused from an infection. If you think you have vaginismus, you should see a doctor.
4. You Were Taught Sex is Shameful
Parents sometimes teach their children that sex is dirty or shameful. They do this so their children won’t have unprotected sex and get pregnant as teens. But this message can cause psychological damage to people. Women who were raised this way often feel ashamed of themselves for having sex and then go into a depression or have low self-esteem. With counseling, women can learn to overcome this warped sense of themselves so they can feel good about themselves and allow themselves to be fulfilled and happy.
This post about slut-shaming may also help you shed those beliefs.
Sex is meant to feel good. Now that you know the reason why sex feels so good, you can gain a deeper appreciation for an activity you already love.
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