Whether you’re newly single, you want to try out a one night stand for the first time (more on that here) or you’ve never been in the position of initiating sex, you might be wondering how to hook up with a guy in a smooth way.
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Fortunately, we’ve literally written the guide! Read on for sexy – and practical – tips to make sex happen. In fact, that’s exactly what the Bad Girls Bible is all about.
What to Do Before Hooking Up with Him
Before the big moment, there are a few preparatory steps you’ll want to take. Of course, one of those steps is to consider birth control and STI protection. Condoms cover both and are a great idea with a new partner. If you use the ring, cervical cap or another type of birth control that needs to be placed, do so earlier in the day so you don’t have to during the moment. More STI info here.
Another type of safety you’ll want to consider is your physical safety. If you’re not familiar with a guy, you don’t know his intentions.
You might feel safer having sex at your place rather than going to his. If you’ve met out on the town, ensure you have an option to get home safely. Thanks to the popularity of meeting strangers online and in apps for dating and sex, many people now practice the check-in technique where they call or text a trusted friend by a certain time.
Giving your friend the name, contact information and potentially phone number of your potential sexual partner keeps you safe. While the worst-case scenario is typically bad sex, it’s always better to play it safe than sorry.
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On the last note of safety, you should absolutely discuss safe words if the two of you plan to engage in any bondage of power play. Safe words are especially important with a new sexual partner who may not be able to recognize your non-verbal signals.
Whether you’re looking for true love or a one night stand, you want to dress the part.
This means looking as good as you can always. Of course, you can sex it up everywhere. If you want to look smashing at work, buying a pants suit or skirt and blouse is a better option than something low cut, which you’ll want to save for the bar or club. Even if you’re just running to the store or post office for a few minutes, take the time to ensure you look presentable.
You never know where Mr. Right or Mr. Right-Enough-for-Sex might be! You’ll find more great advice on dressing sexy here.
How to Hook Up with a Guy: Setting the Scene
The easiest way to initiate sex is often to simply get him alone. Try dinner and a movie at your place, a drive-in movie or simply drinks for two at a locale that is demure and not overly-crowded. Close physical proximity makes it easier to move from just hanging out to sex.
Giving the signal is the first step to having sex with any man, but how do you do this? Touching him as you communicate is a good hint that you’re into him.
Laugh flirtatiously and, if it’s appropriate, throw in an offhand comment about how one or both of you might look naked to gauge his interest. It won’t be difficult to tell if he’s interested. Not every man is able to read signals, however, and some are simply shy and even afraid to make the first move. That’s why you might have to take the reigns.
Perhaps you’re thrilled at the idea of upending the patriarchy, taking control turns you on or you simply want to get outside your typical role. Go for it!
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If the night is dwindling and you’re not yet sure about his intentions, consider asking him over for a night cap or a cup of coffee before he catches the last train home. Similarly, you can get closer to his bed by asking to use the restroom before heading home.
Perhaps he mentioned a collection of something that you just can’t wait to see, and if you should miss the last bus back to your neighborhood? You’ll just have to spend the night!
Whether the night’s young or it’s technically tomorrow, getting comfortable inside one of your home’s will help to increase your chances of hooking up with him.
Watching a movie on the couch is an excellent opportunity to cuddle up together, and those cuddles could turn into a hot-and-heavy makeout session in no time. From there, your hands only need to travel southward. If he’s especially into the idea of having sex with you, you might not even have to get him out of his pants to verify that he’s hard as a rock!
What to Do When You’re Hooking Up with Him
If you want a night of memorable sex, you probably want it to last – and you certainly don’t want to just stick with missionary. Here’s step-by-step tips on how to hook up with a guy and keep him coming back for more.
Start by making out. Allow your kisses to linger. Don’t be afraid to bite his lower lip or kiss his jawline and neck. As you’re kissing, your hands can roam along his body, feeling his muscles or cock beneath his clothes. Don’t fight your body if it wants to move against his. In fact, this can make for a truly unforgettable makeout session, and one or both of you might orgasm before you clothes even come off. More kissing tips here.
Slowly lose your clothing. It makes sense to work from the top down, but there are no rules. Grant him access to your breasts, which should hopefully be adorned in your sexiest bra! Take off each piece of clothing individually.
Don’t just fling your skirt and thong across the floor. Instead, remove your skirt or pants and allow his body between his legs. Grind against his cock, which should definitely be hard by now! You might even straddle his lap in your sexy underwear for a slow grind. If you have a chance to put on some music, you can turn removing your clothes and grinding against him into a sensual lap dance. And if you want to take it one step further, then you can even strip for him. This guide will help with that.
Keep It Moving
Next move to your preferred sex location. He might expect the bed, but you can have sex on the sofa or even on the kitchen floor if you’re looking for a way to hook up with him that’s unexpected.
Doing things differently can cause an adrenaline rush and intensify things for both of you. Before dropping the rest of your clothes, remove his and begin stroking his cock, paying attention to his response. You want to keep him breathing hard without bringing him too close to orgasm.
Add your mouth to the mix. You can break from your kiss and trail light kisses down his body before wrapping your lips around his cock and slowly bobbing along the shaft. Again, the point is to keep him hard and excited without sending him over the edge, so a slower pace or lighter stimulation might be called for.
Don’t be afraid to cup, stroke or lick his balls as you’re stroking his cock. He’s sure to love that!
If he wants to reciprocate manual and oral sex, allow him to manipulate your body and spread your legs for easier access. Breathy sighs and moans are a great way to keep any lover enthralled, and you deserve to cum for your hard work thus far! And if he’s resistant to the idea of going down on you, then these tips will help change that.
Keep It Dirty
It’s a great time to experiment with dirty talk now that your mouth is free. Start easy by telling him how much you love something he’s doing or by letting him know how turned on you now are from having stroked his cock. Describe what you’re going to do to him after he’s done licking your clit. This dirty talking video will teach you more on how to talk dirty to him for maximum effect.
When you’re sated, it’s time to move to actual penetration, which you’ll both be craving by now. Rather than lying back for him to climb into missionary position, push him so that he’s the one lying or sitting down and straddle his lap. This is how to hook up with a guy and make sure he always looks back on the moment fondly.
Your pace and style are up to you. Chances are, you can focus on hitting your right spots and he’ll feel fantastic, too!
You don’t have to remain in this position, of course. Doggie style provides one method to hook up with a guy and ensure you get plenty of G-spot stimulation.
Spooning is romantic to some people, but you might love it because having your legs closed makes his cock feel even bigger inside of you. It’s okay to be a little selfish during sex. After all, it should feel good for both of you! If your position isn’t stimulating your clit, for example, feel free to reach down and do it yourself using some of these clitoral stimulation techniques.
There’s more than one way how to hook up with a guy and make sure you get yours, too! For more that 100 sex positions with demonstrations, check out the sex positions guide here.
How to Hook Up with Him and Save Your Dignity
Hollywood flicks are full of women doing the “walk of shame” the next morning as they leave a guy’s house. They’re typically holding their shoes with disheveled hair and makeup. Passersby give a knowing look as the woman leaves a house, perhaps leaving behind an article of clothing whether it’s accidental or a naughty gift to her conquest.
This stupid stereotype doesn’t have to be you if you don’t want it to be!
For starters, you can avoid the walk of shame entirely if you have sex in your own home. You can also ascertain whether your sexual partner has any flatmates whom you might like to avoid. Simply asking him when people are home and awake can help you avoid those knowing glances. Of course, you can always hold your head up high and flash a winning smile or sly grin.
A small overnight-bag can ensure that you look your best when you’re leaving a sex nest, too. For example, a travel tooth and hair brush do wonders, while a makeup wipe means your mascara and eyeliner haven’t run all over your face. If you can fit a fresh pair of panties in your purse, you’ll feel much better as you slink away to your own home or place of work.
While there’s nothing wrong with casual sex, sex can quickly become unethical is one or both of you is in a relationship, ultimately ending up with making your original relationship a toxic one.
An ignored text message, the lightened ring line on his finger or photos flipped upside down are all signs that you shouldn’t continue with this hook up, no matter how attracted you might be to a man. Similarly, you should focus on having hot sex with your own partner if you’re already in a committed and monogamous relationship.
If you follow these tips, you’ll have safe and healthy sex that could lead to more, but it doesn’t have to! That’s the beauty of hookup culture and casual sex. You may also find that you don’t love sex outside of a relationship, which is okay, too! As long as you’re responsible, hookups should involve fun life experiences with few regrets.
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